Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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