So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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