Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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