Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
