I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
