I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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