Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
