names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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