his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was like giving head to a cactus.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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