I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize