I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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