Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
