I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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