Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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