He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
