I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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