You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
