Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
