you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
