can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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