you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
