so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
