Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
