im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
