I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
