Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
