dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He felt like a one man threesome
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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