i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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