So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
