well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize