my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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