Ketchup is God's man juice
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
