you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
