If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she told me i tasted like america
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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