Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
