You made me cry and you don't even care
I just pynch a tree in the face
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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