evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize