THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
