Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
