Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
