I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize