It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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