He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i dont even know how to be here
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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