So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Two words: blizzard sex
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
