Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
