The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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