yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
