but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I got her a Nickelback box set.
two words: eviction party
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
