I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
