I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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