My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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