I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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