Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i need some magic done to my vagina
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
