so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
