Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
