PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
