You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We need to get me chipped asap
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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