Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
