It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
