last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It was confusing and full of hummus
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize