I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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