I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
