I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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