and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
